Blocks, Limiting Beliefs, and Letting Go

I’ve never considered myself to be a vain person, but I do notice a shift in how I’m perceived as I age. It’s something I never had any warning about and it kind of crept up on me. As a woman, when you reach a certain age you become somewhat “invisible.”

This shift is making me question why it matters whether or not I’m visible because I’m not the center of attention type gal. I want to walk into a room and attract the right kind of attention based on my energy. I’ve been married for almost 27 years to a man I’m madly in love with so the only thing I care about with my physical appearance is making sure my husband’s needs are met. This awareness is making me look at personal and collective programming with regard to age and beauty. But even more so, I’m asking myself why is this causing a stir within me?

Last week, I went with a lovely client and friend to a Peter Crone event in Santa Monica. It was somewhat of a spontaneous undertaking and something I fully enjoyed. I’ve seen some of Peter’s videos on Instagram and I remember when my sister and I would watch the Heal documentary, every time he came on screen, my sister would say, “hubba hubba!” She found him very cute and I loved that. It makes me miss her even more now that I can’t call her. I would have dialed her number on the way home to tell her about this event because she’d have loved and benefitted from it so much. She was there with me in spirit though. I could sense her hubba hubba-ing when I walked into the Mud/Wtr headquarters.

As a healer and coach myself, I was particularly interested in Peter’s process. He is very funny and has plenty of hilarious stories and perspectives on things that he sprinkles effortlessly throughout his events which makes the experience memorable. As soon as he invited guests to raise their hands and hop into the hot seat, things moved quickly.

Peter starts by asking the person their name and what issue they’d like to explore. Most of the people who raise their hands seem to be well aware of how he will break things down. I had no idea, so it was fun dissecting his method.

Once Peter got an idea of what the goal was with the interaction, he’d ask about the person’s relationship to their parents (and siblings if that felt relevant), any messages they received as a child that created a false belief pattern, and how that limiting belief feels to them. Peter always validates their feelings, but also shows them how the false belief has allowed them to lie to themselves, effectively creating a prison where they feel blocked. He gets them to see the truth and laughs at how silly their lies were.

At first, I felt it was a little harsh for Peter to be laughing at the person’s false belief in front of the audience, but then as he did the same thing with all four participants, it became clear that this is part of his process. A process we all need to embrace. We need to lighten up and realize that we complicate things so much more than we need to.

When we realize a thought pattern has created a block in our lives, and that all it takes to free ourselves and move beyond is to see the truth and let go of the lie, it changes everything in an instant.

How silly are we to hold on to beliefs that don’t serve us?! Why do we hold onto them? That is a funny thing to think about. And it’s easy to understand why we hold onto them, because they feel familiar. Also we hold onto them because we learned them when we’re young, at a time when no one was there to point out how absolutely ridiculous they were. So we kept living as if they were true.

Some people’s blocks have to do with parents putting pressure on the child to take care of them so they grow up attracting relationships that put them in the caretaker role and end up losing themselves. Sometimes people get blocked when their parents put a “naughty” sibling on a pedestal and ignore them despite making every effort to be the “good” child. This results in an adult that never feels like their accomplishments are enough. They busy themselves with goals that will never satisfy them and never stop to see the limitless potential they’re capable of.

I haven’t read Peter’s book but he referred to I think it was 7 common “prisons” people put themselves in. It was fascinating to watch the participants have major aha moments where they deeply understood the truth of their limiting beliefs and were able to embrace the future they raised their hand for.

Our souls come into this life to learn very specific lessons and the blocks and false beliefs we carry are part of that.

So, when you have a facilitator who shows you a mirror you’ve never been witness to and holds space for you to see the real you, it is liberating. Hence, Peter’s membership called FREEDOM.

I found it fascinating that every participant knew what their limiting belief was. It didn’t take much digging. They were aware of what was holding them back. I suspect most of us are. There were some tweaks that Peter would make. For instance, a lot of people think their limiting beliefs have to do with not being “good enough” and while that can be an issue, it’s usually more nuanced than that. It may have to do with feeling disposable, like you have to always be strong, or that you have always felt… invisible.

This brings me back to my newfound feeling of being invisible. Maybe it’s really not a new thing. I’ve written about this before. When I was a kid, I felt invisible. So, as I’m aging and noticing that my presence in the room isn’t garnering as much attention as it once did, I’m being faced with one of my limiting beliefs from childhood. And it’s a lie. Of course I’m not invisible. I’ve never been invisible. There’s a picture of me up there at the top of this post that clearly shows you, I’m very visible.

And while I would LOVE to have the super power of being invisible at times, I’m once again being faced with what some might refer to as my core wound. This is what happens as you heal. The wound resurfaces at times when you’re in transition. Every time it shows up, we are given another opportunity to learn, grow, and expand. I work with clients on this all the time. It is not uncommon for some of us to feel a sense of failure when the wound comes up again, but I assure you it is part of the healing process and certainly not a sign of failure.

Want to know what my internal voice just said as I wrote that? “How cool is that?!” It is when we explore these facets of being human with compassion and non-judgement that we are able to transcend their limitations. And it is when we fully love and accept all aspect of ourselves, even the unhealed parts that we allow ourselves to be free.

I invite you to explore your blocks, your limiting or false beliefs. What fear has stopped you from becoming the fullest version of yourself?

How do you reinforce this “lie” so you can stay comfortable in what feels familiar rather than looking in the mirror and seeing the magnificent being that you are? What prisons have you kept yourself in long enough? The key to escaping prison is in your hand. Will you unlock the door and set yourself free?

If you need help exploring this, feel free to send me a message. Sometimes it helps to have someone else ask you the right questions. And if you can get yourself to a Peter Crone event and raise your hand, or if you’ve done it before, I’d love to hear about it!